


Fix You

by SailorLestrade



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicidal Sam, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, hurt reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-29 09:14:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12627765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorLestrade/pseuds/SailorLestrade
Summary: After a failed suicide attempt, Sam has to attend therapy. But his therapist is not the normal kind, and what if there was more to Sam’s attempt than meets the eye.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for a friend that said she needs more Sammy fics in her life.

It all started when Dean took Jack to the grocery store with him. Sam hadn’t been himself recently and Dean wanted to cheer him up some. The bunker was quiet when they came back, but they didn’t think anything of it. They had only been gone a little while and Sam needed a nap. So Dean went to start cooking and Jack started playing a Lego Star Wars game.

“Hey Jack, can you go get Sam for me?” Dean asked. “I need to ask him a question and I can’t step away from the stove.”

“Okay.” Jack said, pausing his game and heading towards Sam’s room.

The next thing Dean knew, Jack was screaming for him and he was running towards Sam’s room.

That’s how he found his little brother with his wrists slit, eyes closed, and chest barely moving.

Dean had never drove as fast as he did towards the hospital. He had Jack in the back with Sam, keeping pressure on his wrists. Sam gained consciousness once during the drive and tried to fight Jack off. But he was so weak and couldn’t get out of his hold.

It was touch and go for a while, but soon, Sam was in the clear. He didn’t want to go to the psychiatric hospital, he didn’t even want to be at the hospital. And since he told the doctor that was doing his mental evaluation that he had never attempted suicicde before, they came up with something new for him.

“You will have mandatory therapy sessions.” The doctor explained to him. Sam was about to protest, but the look Dean was giving him from across the room told him not to. “I will give you a list that you can choose from and we’ll set up your first appointment for you. You have to go at least once a week for the next six months unless your therapist says otherwise.” Sam just nodded. Later on, a nurse dropped off the list.

“I don’t want to go to any of them.” Sam said. “I really don’t even know why I did it. I just felt so done. I don’t feel that way right now.”

“That’s called happy pills.” Dean said. “This name seems good.” He pointed to one on the list.

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Sam asked.

“When you sliced your wrists, you lost your right to have a say in this.” Dean snapped. Sam watched Dean study the list of therapists. He took to searching names as he looked through the list. He wanted to know everything about the place before he sent Sam there. While he did that, Sam looked over at Jack. He was sitting in a chair, staring at Sam’s arms.

“Jack?” Sam asked. Jack glanced up at him but didn’t say anything. Sam could see different emotions playing on his face. And Sam had a feeling that it was best not to mess with him right now.

“Okay Sam, I have two you can pick from.” Dean said, trying to not be as harsh to Sam as he had sounded. Fear that his brother would willingly take his own life was catching up with him. One was a man that was based in Lebanon, and the other was a woman about twenty minutes south of there. Sam looked at both of them.

“I’ll go with her.” Sam said with a shrug. He wasn’t sure what it was about her, but something drew him towards her. Dean nodded and went to tell Sam’s doctor so they could make his first appointment. Sam set in the silence of the room. He knew not to try to talk to Jack and it was starting to sink in what he had done. He looked down at his wrists.

What the hell had happened?

****

The next week, Jack and Dean personally took Sam to his first appointment. Dean didn’t want Sam skipping out. Sam was determined to find a way out. He wasn’t sad. He wasn’t depressed. Even though Dean said he was in denial. But he set there in the passenger seat as Dean drove towards the small town therapist. 

“Sam.” Dean said after a while. “We’re here.”

“I see that.” Sam mumbled. Dean sighed.

“Do I need to walk you in, or are you going to be a big boy?” Dean asked. They both knew that the hospital couldn’t do anything if he didn’t show up at his sessions. But after this, Dean was determined to make him go.

“I’ll be back in an hour.” Sam grumbled, heading inside.

The waiting room was small. The woman at the desk was an older woman, but she was nice and took his name and directed him to a seat. A TV was on in the corner. Chip and Joanna Gaines were remodeling a family of four a house. Sam didn’t even have time to enjoy it though. A young man about nineteen came out of a door then. He had obviously been crying, but he seemed to be smiling now.

“Sam?” A woman in a light grey pantsuit said. He looked up at her. “I’m (Y/f/n) (Y/l/n). I’m ready for you.” She offered him a smile and held the door open for him. He sighed and headed her way. She led him down the small hallway into her office. “Have a seat.” She motioned at the couch while she set in a chair. “So, Sam, tell me why you’re here.”

“I’m sure that you already know.” Sam said. “Everything you need to know is probably already in your file.”

“I want to hear it from you.” She said. (Y/n) watched Sam carefully as he played with the bandages on his wrists. “If you’re nervous sitting, you can get up and walk around.” Sam immediately got up and started walking around. “Sam, this is a safe place. You can talk to me.”

“You went to the University of Southern California?” Sam asked, deflecting her question. (Y/n) sighed.

“Yes I did.” She said. “But we’re not here to talk about me.” Sam looked at all the pictures on the wall. His eyes grew wide as he stared at them. He knew people in these pictures. A lot of them. People his dad had worked with in the past. He turned to look at (Y/n). “Sam? What is it?”

“Are…are you a hunter?”


	2. Chapter 2

“Sam…we’re here to talk about you…” (Y/n) said, steering the conversation away from the pictures.

“No. I know a lot of these people. They’re all hunters.” Sam said, staring her down.

“Mr. Elliott…” (Y/n) began, but Sam cut her off.

“That’s not my name.” He said. She sighed and nodded.

“I know.” She explained. Sam looked at her. “I’ve heard stories about you in the hunter community for a long time. It’s hard to go anyplace and not hear stories about the Winchester family.” Sam just stared at her. “Sam…”

“So, you are a hunter.” He said. (Y/n) shook her head. “Well, they aren’t exactly inclusive of civilians in their world. You’re either one of us, or you’re not.”

“I was raised by hunters, yes. I am not one though. I just want to help as many of them as I can before…” She closed her eyes. “This isn’t about me though Sam. This is about you. And why you felt the need to hurt yourself the way you did.”

“But I wasn’t depressed.” Sam said. “I mean, yeah I probably have a lot of underlying issues, but I wasn’t that bad. And then I woke up one morning and it was like all the happiness had just been, I dunno, drained from me and I felt that I had to do that.” (Y/n) nodded, making notes in Sam’s file.

This wasn’t the first time she had heard that.

Soon, the hour was up. They hadn’t made a lot of progress, but it was one less visit Sam had to do now. And, actually, he felt a lot better coming out than he did going in. Maybe it was just the fact that he needed therapy. 

“Will next week at the same time work for you son?” The woman at the desk asked. Sam nodded, feeling like he needed to come back next week. That it would be for the best. He looked around the waiting room while she wrote his appointment on a little card. There was a woman sitting there with a little girl. She didn’t look like she would be a hunter. And (Y/n) never said she catered exclusively to hunters.

To Sam, it was just a little strange that he found her out of all the therapists the doctor had suggested.

“Here you go sweetie.” The woman said, handing Sam his card. “I will see you next week Mr. Elliott.” Sam took the card and smiled before heading out. Dean was waiting in the parking lot for him. Jack was in the backseat, distracted by a king size Three Musketeers that Dean had bought him, mumbling under his breath that Jack was probably secretly a baby Demogorgon or something like that.

“So, the crazy lady tear everything you believe in apart?” Dean asked as Sam slid into the passenger seat.

“No. We just talked.” Sam said. Dean nodded and started the car.

“So, you’re not going back next week, right?” Dean asked. Sam looked down at the appointment card.

“Actually, I think I am.” He said. Dean glanced over at him before pulling the car out of the parking lot.

“I thought we talked about this. You’d go once just for them to prove that your head was okay, then before they decided that you needed a lobotomy, you’d stop going and Sam Elliott would go back to just being an old guy in the movies.”

“Dean, you were the one that wanted me to go in the first place.” Sam pointed out. “Besides, I think therapy will be good for me. I can talk to her about things.”

“You can talk to me about things.” Dean said. Sam shook his head. “What’s that supposed to me?”

“A lot of times, when I want to talk about things, we either fight or you storm off to a bar to do shots and stare at barely legal sorority girls.” Sam said. Dean gripped the steering wheel.

“Well, you can’t exactly tell her about Lucifer? Or Yellow Eyes? Now can you?” He asked. Sam smirked.

“Actually, I can.” He laughed. Dean glanced over at him, giving him a puzzled look. “She’s a hunter. Or, was raised by them.” Dean started to laugh. “What’s so funny?”

“A hunter therapist. That sounds fake, but okay.” He laughed. “I bet you didn’t even see her. You probably hung around in the office and sweet talked whoever was working the front desk to give you an appointment card.” Sam turned from Dean and stared out the window. The good mood that he had had when leaving the office was slowly starting to fade away.

“Where are you going?” Jack asked as they returned to the bunker. Sam slammed the passenger door.

“My room.” He grumbled. Jack looked panicked and looked over at Dean for help. “I’m not going to kill myself Jack. I just need some alone time.” He glared at Dean before marching away. He walked into his room and slammed the door. Something told him to lock it, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that. Not to Jack, who was already scared enough as it was. Instead, he went to the mirror in his room and stuck the card in it, so he could see it. Staring at his reflection in the mirror after he did that, he noticed that he didn’t look as tired as he had the past week. His good mood wasn’t as strong anymore, but he didn’t have this sense of dread that he did have.

But the lead balloon that kept popping up in his chest made him wonder if he should be going to see (Y/n) twice a week instead of just once.


End file.
